• I delivered a 1 lb 13 oz baby boy.
• I was told that my baby may not live past 48 hrs.
• I was in a complete state of numbness, disbelief, and extreme sadness.
• My sadness quickly turned into anger, frustration, and bitterness.
At 25 weeks of pregnancy, 3 yrs ago…
• I was full of anxiety.
• Although I was getting all good news about the baby, my worries overshadowed any joy.
• I did not allow myself to enjoy my pregnancy because I didn’t know how long it would last.
• I remember crying in my doctor’s office because I was overwhelmed with fear that at any moment my pregnancy would turn around for the worst. Praise God that my doctor was a believer & able to minister to me.
At 25 weeks of pregnancy, today…
• I feel the best (emotionally & physically) than I’ve ever felt during any pregnancy.
• When I’m not thinking on things that are worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8), my mind wanders to...
- "What if I have this baby early?”
- “What if this baby has special needs?”
- “How I’m I going to handle 3 kids who are all very dependent on me?”
• I must rely on God’s grace to help me to meditate on truth. As Jeremiah did in Lamentations 3:21-25, after he recalled his anguish, he remembered God’s character -
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
• Whatever I must endure, God will ALWAYS shower me with His steadfast love, faithfulness, & goodness. I may not always think God’s plan is good for me, but it is. May God help me to rest in the fact that His thoughts & ways are greater (better) than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). No matter what I go through, His goodness and mercy will follow me (Psalm 23:6)!
So, that’s where I stand today…
25 weeks, 6 days & counting!
10 comments:
You are so beautiful! May God continue to bless you and "Baby Turner"...keeping you healthy and strong.
Love You!!!
Thanks Mom! I really wanted to post the pic especially for you since you're not here to watch me grow :-).
your so pretty, Mrs. Turner! I love blue on you!
I will pray that Baby Turner will continue to grow healthy and strong!
I found your blog through John Knight's blog and found your posts so encouraging! I, too, am a mother to a son with special needs and I'm expecting baby #3 who also may have needs as well. Thank you for reminding me of Lamentations 3. What an encouragement!
Caryn, you look wonderful! Praying for God's protection on you and the baby growing inside you.
You really hit on something I've been struggling with. A part of me longs for another child but I'm afraid. I've been told that the likelihood of having a second child with autism is high. At the core of it all, my faith in God is weak. I've been praying:
"Lord, help my unbelief"
You are so dear, Caryn. God is so with you and for you, it is clear to me.
Praise God for His peace! I have been praying for your pregnancy, but I will continue to pray for some more peace! :)
Amen sister! Counting and feeling (in many different ways) right with you. Thanks for helping me think on good things!
You look so beautiful!
Yep. I went on a blogging break and a reading others blogs break too. And this is what I miss....hence the surprise when I saw you at MOMS the other day. "What, I didn't know you were pregnant!" This is what I miss. Well, I'm glad I now know....at least I know BEFORE baby arrives! Congratulations! So happy for you. I'm reading blogs again, so I'll be happy to keep up with your pregnancy updates. :)
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