Staying Sober On My 35th Birthday

Lord, help me to stay sober...
As I recall that I'm but dust,
only in You should I put my trust.

Lord, help me to stay sober...
Instead of being caught up in the latest fad,
let Your presence alone make me glad.

Lord, help me to stay sober...
When I become consumed with what I can be eating,
remind me that my life is fleeting.

Lord, help me to stay sober...
Let the idols of my heart be destroyed,
So that freedom in Christ will be enjoyed.

Lord, help me to stay sober...
Because this life is almost over.
Then You will come for me
And I'll live with You for eternity.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Peter 1:13

The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers. 1 Peter 4:7

I died a year ago!

"So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11)

Last year when I wrote this post during the week of my 33rd birthday, I had no idea that it would become true (spiritually speaking) pertaining to a specific sin in my life. You see, I turned 34 on Tuesday and this birthday marked a lot of “firsts” for me. This was the 1st birthday that…

*I was 2 sizes smaller than I’ve ever been as an adult.
*I went shopping for a whole new wardrobe.
*I didn’t look in the mirror and feel guilt or shame.
*I prayed so hard that I wouldn’t return to the bondage of the sin of gluttony.
This blog post comes with much hesitation. I hesitate for many reasons but the root of them all is FEAR. I fear that I will fall back into the sin that I’ve struggled with for most of my life and gain the weight back and then look foolish. So, this post comes with a big risk but I’m willing to risk for the sake of glorifying God as I recount His goodness, faithfulness, and compassion towards me. Also, going public with this area of my life via internet allows me to have countless accountability partners :-).

I'm involved in the MOMS ministry at my church. This Tuesday's speaker coincidently spoke about nutrition. She showed us a replica of 5 lbs of fat. Since it was my birthday, I just had to take a picture holding that thing. It's hard to believe that I have lost a total of 5 of them...glory to God alone!
How My Journey BeganDuring Fall ’08, I participated in the bible study How People Change by Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp. From the very 1st lesson, that study was life changing for me. Even though I’ve been a believer for quite a while, this class helped me to come face to face with the reality of the Cross, my position before God, Christ’s power in me, and the hope to come (2 Peter 1:3-9, Phil 1:3-11, Rev 7:9-17). From the start, God was pointing to my sin of gluttony and it was like He was saying, “This is it! It’s your time to give me this area of your life.” This is definitely the #1 area of struggle that has kept me from wholeheartedly loving God. Midway through the study, we had to plan a personal growth project. On the night of October 23rd, I was working on my project and I had a time of coming clean before God. I confessed out loud and wrote all my confessions down on paper. I made lists for 3 specific areas: 1) “Confessions to my sin of gluttony”, 2) “Why I’m enslaved to gluttony”, 3) “Why I want to be free from gluttony”. The Holy Spirit helped me to be very specific about my confessions. Here are a few of them -
* I am a glutton!
* I turn to food for comfort and relief instead of God.
* I get a satisfaction “high” from food. Even though I know it’s temporary, I constantly crave that feeling.
* I turn to food for a sense of control in my life.The list went on and on. Later that evening, I also confessed this sin to Kempton. He knew that I struggled with food, but he didn’t know to this degree. As I sobbed, he prayed for me. He has been my #1 accountability partner ever since.

For the next several blog posts, I plan to continue the trek through my journey.

You Know You’re 33 if…

1) You’ve worn leg warmers as a fashion statement.

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2) You had the very 1st Cabbage Patch Kids (I still have my 3!)

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3) You watched The Smurfs when you came home from school.
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4) You remember when it was actually safe to play outside ALL DAY & not go in ‘til the street lights came on.

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5) While you played outside, you rode your bike WITHOUT a helmet.
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6) Your family owned the movie E.T. on VHS.

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7) You remember when NO ONE had cell phones, digital cameras, or iPods.
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8) You remember when snail mail was the only option and stamps cost less than a quarter.

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9) You can still name each member of the Huxtable & Brady Family.
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10) You grew up in the 80s when no one used E-mail, IM, Facebook, My Space, or Blogs and you still survived!

Thanks for celebrating my 33rd birthday with me! It’s been fun!

Have a God-exalting weekend!

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Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.

Psalm 33: 20-22

The Hardest 33 Days of My Life

My son, Christian Anthony, was born on February 10, 2003 at 25 weeks gestation, which was 3½ months early! He weighed 1 pound 13.4 ounces and was 13 inches long. The final words given to us just before our son was born were, “This baby will have a 50/50 chance to live. The first 48 hours will be crucial. We cannot promise anything, we’ll just see what happens.” Here’s a brief look at the 1st 33 days of his life.

Day 1
*Blood Pressure Low –- put on 2 medications
*Oxygen Saturation in blood dropping
*Lots of sedation

Day 2
*Our 1st family prayer together

Day 3
*Blood Pressure stable
*Only needs 25% oxygen from ventilator
*Peeing good with catheter
*1st blood transfusion

Day 4
*2nd blood transfusion
*Stable
*Weaned off of one blood pressure medication

Day 5
*We taped your testimony (Psalm 71:6-8) to your bedside
*Off one blood pressure medication & weaning off the other
*Ventilator setting down to 40 from 60
*Peeing in diaper — No catheter
*No sedation needed since last night

Day 6
*Off both blood pressure medications
*Given steroids to assist in development
*Ventilator setting continues to be turned down
*1st head ultrasound – No bleeding on the brain...Praise God!
*Little jaundice – needed to lay under a blue light
*Daddy was reading the Bible while we were visiting you and he saw this scripture: I will not die but live, and will proclaim what the Lord has done. Psalm 118:17

Day 7
*Start feeding on mommy’s milk at 11:00P.M.
*Fed every 6 hours – 1 cc (cubic centimeter)
*Blood gas pH level low – needs monitoring

Day 8
*HAPPY 1 WEEK OLD!!!
*Jaundice down – do not need blue light
*Found blood in lungs last night – went up on ventilator setting
*Mommy was encouraged by I Peter 1:21 which states that as believers in God through Jesus, our faith and hope are in God.
*Blood gas pH level good
*No more blood found in lungs all day

Day 9
*Daddy correlated Ephesians 2:10 to your birthday (2/10). It reads: For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
*Your nurse says you’re becoming a big boy because you don’t make a fuss like you used to when she turns your head.

Day 10
*Heart report showed an opening in the valve between your lungs & heart

Day 11
*Day 1 of a very TRYING week for all of us
*Surgery to close the valve between your lungs & heart
*Feedings stopped for recovery

Day 12
*Recovering well from surgery

Day 13
*We touched you for the 1st time!

Day 14
*Oxygen level had to be increased – Lungs not doing well

Day 15
*HAPPY 2 WEEKS OLD!!!
*Infection in lungs from ventilator – put on 2 antibiotics
*Blood pressure dropped
*Not peeing
*Blood transfusion

Day 16
*Ventilator support lowered
*Off blood pressure medications
*Made sucking noises with the tube in your mouth :-)

Day 17
*Very uncomfortable – moving a lot
*2nd head ultrasound – possible abnormal cells

Day 18
*Day 1 of RELIEF for all of us
*Blood gas excellent
*Blood pressure good
*Down on oxygen support
*Only on 1 antibiotic
*Lungs look better
*Peeing good
*Feeding again

Day 19
*Moved to your own “home” – incubator
*No more lines in your belly button
*Fed every 3 hours

Day 20
*Fed 2 cc
*Slowly weaning off morphine

Day 21
*Fed 3 cc

Day 22
*HAPPY 3 WEEKS OLD!!!
*We saw you yawn for the 1st time. :-)

Day 23
*Fed 4 cc
*3rd head ultrasound – possible abnormal cells

Day 24
*Fed 5 cc

Day 25
*Fed 6 cc
*Only 1 blood gas check now instead of 2

Day 26
*Fed 7 cc
*Oxygen level at 30%

Day 27
*Fed 8 cc
*Eye infection – drainage – given eye drops

Day 28
*Fed 9 cc (1 cc will be added every 12 hours to 18 cc)
*Urinating and having bow movements regularly

Day 29
*HAPPY 1 MONTH BIRTHDAY!!!

Day 30
*Blood gas was not good

Day 31
*Blood gas good

Day 32
*No TPN (protein supplement) IVs
*All feeding done via feeding tube
*Growing infection in lungs – on antibiotics
*Up on vent support
*Blood transfusion

Day 33
*Infection in blood – on antibiotic
*IV for feedings – back on TPN
*More sedation


In all, Christian was in the hospital for 135 days! He had to endure…
* Ventilator (breathing machine) for 2 months
* Feeding tube for 2½ months
* Various infections
* 6 blood transfusions
* 1 surgery

But God said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” ~ John 11:4

The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad. ~ Psalm 126:3

The 33 Things...

That made my Birthday Special

11 cards

10 blog comments

5 phone messages

4 gifts from my sweetie

3 gifts from family/friends

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The 4 great gifts my sweetie blessed me with are:

1. He took the day off!!!

2. He got me a spa gift certificate! My appt is this Sat. I can't wait!

3. He got me a brand new camera!!! I like my old camera but it's so slow between shots. It has only 3.2 mega pixels. This new camera has 8!!!!

4. He got the kids a babysitter and he took me to my fav. restaurant - Red Lobster. Of course I ate my 2 fav. foods...snow crab legs and shrimp.

Thank you so much babe for making my birthday extra special!!!

Life or Death @ 33

“Great age to die; you’ll be in great company!”

That is exactly what Pastor Piper said to me about a week ago when he found out that my 33rd birthday was coming up. Even though I knew that our Savior died at age 33, that comment still caught me off guard. However, it was the best thing that anyone could have told me. It reminded me that…

1) Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my [Christ] sake will find it. – Matt. 10:39
2) To live is Christ, to die is gain. – Phil. 1:21
3) Absent from the body is to be home with the Lord. – 2 Cor. 5:8

Thank you Pastor John, I was thinking about life, but you helped me to think about death which would be of greater gain to me. Whether I die at age 33 or not, I want to live a life worthy of the calling (Matt. 10:37-38). Lord, help me to walk more faithful with You. My prayer is that when I see your face, You will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.” Matt. 25:23

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

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(Pastor Piper's mom went to be with the Lord 34 years ago; she would have been 90 yrs old today. Click here to read the blog post that he wrote about her.)

Happy Birthday To Me…I’m 33!!!

Praise the Lord for blessing me with 33 years of life!

My friend, Tricia, gave me a blog makeover for my birthday! Thank you so much T, you did an EXCELLENT job!!!

Blog friends, what ‘cha think???

P.S. Those who know me well know that I love birthdays. So, in honor of my 33rd birthday, each day this week all my posts will have something to do with my birthday or the #33. A week long birthday celebration…oh yeah! :-)