• I delivered a 1 lb 13 oz baby boy.
• I was told that my baby may not live past 48 hrs.
• I was in a complete state of numbness, disbelief, and extreme sadness.
• My sadness quickly turned into anger, frustration, and bitterness.
At 25 weeks of pregnancy, 3 yrs ago…
• I was full of anxiety.
• Although I was getting all good news about the baby, my worries overshadowed any joy.
• I did not allow myself to enjoy my pregnancy because I didn’t know how long it would last.
• I remember crying in my doctor’s office because I was overwhelmed with fear that at any moment my pregnancy would turn around for the worst. Praise God that my doctor was a believer & able to minister to me.
At 25 weeks of pregnancy, today…
• I feel the best (emotionally & physically) than I’ve ever felt during any pregnancy.
• When I’m not thinking on things that are worthy of praise (Phil. 4:8), my mind wanders to...
- "What if I have this baby early?”
- “What if this baby has special needs?”
- “How I’m I going to handle 3 kids who are all very dependent on me?”
• I must rely on God’s grace to help me to meditate on truth. As Jeremiah did in Lamentations 3:21-25, after he recalled his anguish, he remembered God’s character -
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
• Whatever I must endure, God will ALWAYS shower me with His steadfast love, faithfulness, & goodness. I may not always think God’s plan is good for me, but it is. May God help me to rest in the fact that His thoughts & ways are greater (better) than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). No matter what I go through, His goodness and mercy will follow me (Psalm 23:6)!
So, that’s where I stand today…
25 weeks, 6 days & counting!