Thursday, September 18, 2008

10 Things We Want You To Know

After writing my previous blog entry, I think it would be a good idea to follow up with this one. On behalf of mothers who have children with special needs, here are...

10 Things We Want You To Know

1) When you see us with our child in public, don't stare...greet us.

2) After you do #1, don't immediately ask us what type of disability our child has. That is our personal information.

3) When we choose to tell you about our child's disabilities, please don't respond with, "I'm sorry." Sorry is an expression of sorrow, regret, sympathy. Our children are gifts & blessings from the Lord not burdens or mishaps.

4) Please don't pity us. Yes life is challenging for us, so we need prayer to persevere not pity.

5) Don't pry! If we say that we can't attend a function or come over to your house because it's not best for our child, leave it at that. Most of the time, it's a lot more difficult than you can imagine and we don't want to go into detail about it.

6) Be discerning on when to suggest that "book you heard about", renown doctor, new medication, technique, etc. We are often bombarded with medical info and it may not be the right time for us to ponder one more thing. Good timing is of the essence.

7) Understand that every child WILL NOT be healed/cured/get better. So, don't ask us questions like, "Do they think he'll ever...?"(Check out
this post)

8) In light of #7, look for areas of growth, strength and progress in our child and share them with us.

9) We are so many other things besides being a mom of a child with special needs. Get to know us...our hobbies, interests, gifts, talents. We LOVE to talk about other things besides disabilities.

10) Show our kids good ole TLC (Tender, love, & care) and they'll give it back in return...of course in their own special way! :-)


GUNNY said...

Great thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

So many don't know what to do, so they often go to extremes or freeze up.

People are people, but anything out of the "ordinary" (whatever that even means) is not easily handled.

Sheridan said...


Great post!

I can remember hearing stories when you lived in Sugar Land about Christian constantly exceeding the doctor's expectations and praising God for them.

samurai said...

Thank you for these great points Caryn. May God continue to grant you strength and courage as you lead your child through life.

GLMeece said...

I came by way of Abraham Piper's blog. God gave us a special needs child 19 years ago, but elected to take her home 8 days after birth. I appreciate your helping those of us "without" to focus on the real stuff of life. Thanks for sharing!