"So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus" (Romans 6:11)
Last year when I wrote this post during the week of my 33rd birthday, I had no idea that it would become true (spiritually speaking) pertaining to a specific sin in my life. You see, I turned 34 on Tuesday and this birthday marked a lot of “firsts” for me. This was the 1st birthday that…
*I was 2 sizes smaller than I’ve ever been as an adult.
*I went shopping for a whole new wardrobe.
*I didn’t look in the mirror and feel guilt or shame.
*I prayed so hard that I wouldn’t return to the bondage of the sin of gluttony.
This blog post comes with much hesitation. I hesitate for many reasons but the root of them all is FEAR. I fear that I will fall back into the sin that I’ve struggled with for most of my life and gain the weight back and then look foolish. So, this post comes with a big risk but I’m willing to risk for the sake of glorifying God as I recount His goodness, faithfulness, and compassion towards me. Also, going public with this area of my life via internet allows me to have countless accountability partners :-).
I'm involved in the MOMS ministry at my church. This Tuesday's speaker coincidently spoke about nutrition. She showed us a replica of 5 lbs of fat. Since it was my birthday, I just had to take a picture holding that thing. It's hard to believe that I have lost a total of 5 of them...glory to God alone!
How My Journey BeganDuring Fall ’08, I participated in the bible study How People Change by Timothy S. Lane and Paul D. Tripp. From the very 1st lesson, that study was life changing for me. Even though I’ve been a believer for quite a while, this class helped me to come face to face with the reality of the Cross, my position before God, Christ’s power in me, and the hope to come (2 Peter 1:3-9, Phil 1:3-11, Rev 7:9-17). From the start, God was pointing to my sin of gluttony and it was like He was saying, “This is it! It’s your time to give me this area of your life.” This is definitely the #1 area of struggle that has kept me from wholeheartedly loving God. Midway through the study, we had to plan a personal growth project. On the night of October 23rd, I was working on my project and I had a time of coming clean before God. I confessed out loud and wrote all my confessions down on paper. I made lists for 3 specific areas: 1) “Confessions to my sin of gluttony”, 2) “Why I’m enslaved to gluttony”, 3) “Why I want to be free from gluttony”. The Holy Spirit helped me to be very specific about my confessions. Here are a few of them -
* I am a glutton!
* I turn to food for comfort and relief instead of God.
* I get a satisfaction “high” from food. Even though I know it’s temporary, I constantly crave that feeling.
* I turn to food for a sense of control in my life.The list went on and on. Later that evening, I also confessed this sin to Kempton. He knew that I struggled with food, but he didn’t know to this degree. As I sobbed, he prayed for me. He has been my #1 accountability partner ever since.
For the next several blog posts, I plan to continue the trek through my journey.